How lying about your sex addiction hurts

Lying is like playing the old computer game, Tetris.  Remember it was the game where the blocks of different colors and shapes dropped down in the screen.  You had to manipulate those blocks so they would fit properly at the bottom.  Everything had to be placed just right.  You didn’t have much time to do this and, if you didn’t do it properly, things would begin to stack up faster and faster.  The mound of boxes would grow until a critical point was reached and everything seemed to blow up.  Yes, lying is a lot like playing Tetris. 

I was never any good at this game.  Things went too fast for my stubby fingers.  Unfortunately, I was pretty good at lying.  I lied to hide my sexual sins.  I lied to keep my secret life secret.  I even lied to practice my lying.  As with the game where each move must be thought out, each lie would have to be thoroughly thought out, massaged so it would fit in the terrain of my life where it landed.  As with the game, all this had to be done quickly and with finesse because another lie was always forthcoming.  As with the game, if you are successful making the lies fit, the lies seem to come faster and faster.

I kept that breakneck pace for years, even decades.  Lying was as necessary for me as breathing.  Lying was the only way I could continue in my sexual addiction.  Even though I was very good at lying, there was buried deep in me the knowledge I could not win this game.  Just as with the game, the lies kept stacking up at ever greater speed until my life exploded.

You can’t practice lying and have a real relationship with God.  Psalm 107:6 tells us, “No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence.”  Proverbs 12:22 tells us, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.”

As a Christian believer, your life should reflect our Lord, Jesus Christ.  Lying is an imperfection of that reflection.  Lying is contrary to the character of God.

There is nothing that can be hidden from God.  Think about it.  God is omniscient and omnipresent. 

He knows everything.  God can spot a lie from a country mile.  He sees everything before and after that lie.  There is nothing that can be hidden from him.

The genesis of every lie begins when we think it.  God knows the lie then.  As it is spoken, even to ourselves, God knows where that lie will lead.  He grieves the hurt and pain that lie will bring to us and to those around us.  Yet he doesn’t stop us.  He loves us enough to let us have a choice in the matter.  He made us in his image and gave us free will.  The free will to lie.  And the free will to be honest.  We have the will to choose.

When we chose to lie, we distance ourselves from God.  Every lie, every dishonest act moves us further from God.  Not only God, but also from our family and loved ones.  Every lie draws us further into isolation, further into our addiction.  Further away from God and our families.  To put it simply, the more lies you tell to hide your sexual addiction, the longer your road of recovery will extend.  The more lies you tell is like dropping those colored blocks in place.  Before you are aware of it, you have built yourself a wall.  A wall that keeps you apart from God.  A wall that keeps you apart from your family.  

Just as video games are addictive, so is lying.  I found the best way to stop a game is to just put it down.  I chose to disengage from it.  I chose to turn it off.  You can do the same with your lying.  It isn’t as easy as flipping a switch, but your life does get easier once you have made the decision to be honest. 

First, you and God must have a conversation where you confess to him your lies.  Next you really should have a conversation with yourself where you sort out the untruths you have told beginning with the ones you told yourself.  Only then can you face the rest of the world with transparency and honesty.

Father God.  Thank you for your patience with me.  Thank you for not giving me what I deserve.  Thank you for loving me and wanting a relationship with me even when I lied to you.  Give me strength to stop my lying.  Give me courage to face truth and to speak truth.