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Are we holding forgiveness “hostage” because it feels safe and gives us a sense of control in the chaos of our lives? .....  I finally allowed myself to be vulnerable and weep and, in that pain and weeping, I was releasing strongholds of bitterness in my heart. It isn’t a one and done. It isn’t a linear process. It comes in waves, this deep grief.
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Then my marriage imploded. The discovery of my husband’s acting out was literally center stage.  He was the worship leader. He had an affair with one of my closest friends and spiritual mentors who was also on the worship team. He sexted or tried sexting with other women in the church, also close friends.

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