Have you ever had your back to the wall? Have you felt as if you had no options? No place to go? Have you been facing something that seemed insurmountable and you had no idea what to do? I know when my sexual sins caught up with me, and my life was falling apart, I certainly felt as if my back was to the wall. My marriage was broken. I was about to lose my family. My employer had lost confidence in me. Everywhere I looked my enemies seemed ready to pounce on me. It wasn’t just my physical enemies - it was those of Ephesians, Chapter 6:12.
Think about the Israelites after they had fled Egypt. The entire nation had followed Moses out of captivity. They came to the Red Sea and Pharaoh’s men had surrounded them. There was no place to go. Their backs were against the wall. That was when God showed up. God did a most amazing thing. He parted the Red Sea. He not only parted the waters to let the Israel Nation escape, but he also waited until the Egyptian chariots were following before he brought the waters back. This totally destroyed Pharaoh’s army giving the Israelites real freedom.
Through Moses, God led his people out of captivity only to place them in a box canyon of sorts.
Enemies to the right. Enemies to the left. The Red Sea in front of them and enemies behind them. I sometimes feel like the Israelites following Moses as I walk out my journey from captivity of sexual sin. More than once have I found myself boxed in with my back to the wall. And, more than once has God showed up to do miraculous things.
With my back to the wall, I had fear, just like the Israelites. You are likely facing many fears these days. Will your sexual sins be made public? Will you be able to salvage your marriage? Can you maintain your sobriety? Can you change? You also are probably fearful of the unknown. You are trying to maintain sexual integrity - can you? You are trying to build or rebuild a life where God, instead of your addiction, is in control. Is that possible?
When David wrote Psalm 56, he was reflecting on a devastating event in his life. His back was to the wall. He had had to flee his home. David was afraid. How did he handle his situation? First, he admitted his fear to God. (Psalm 56:1) With your back to the wall, are you afraid? Have you admitted your fears to God? If you do not recognize and admit your fears, they will likely paralyze you. Once acknowledged, your fears can be addressed. Once the fear is acknowledged, the next step is to trust God with it. “When I am afraid, I will trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3) With that trust, your confidence is buoyed. “I will not be afraid.” (Psalm 56:4) With that growing confidence, you will be able to see your circumstances more objectively as David did when he asked, “What can mortal man do to me?”
God is giving you an opportunity to put your fears aside and to trust in Him. When your back is to the wall and you are living in fear, this is when God can show up to do wonderful things in your life. He can deliver you. He can bring your walk into the light of life. Your part is to put your trust in God.
Prayer: Father, You are my light. I trust you with my life. I give you my fears and I trust in you. Please Lord, direct my steps. Do not let me stumble. Protect me. AMEN.